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Driving along, the Freeway

April 22, 2012

Friday, December 23rd, 2011. 5:25pm.

Dad: You can just pull up here, by the Tim Hortons.

Tina pulls over to the right.

Dad: Okay, well, be safe.

Tina: Okay, thanks, have fun at your dinner.

Dad walks away. Tina signals left, and continues on.

Tina (to herself): I’m driving, all by myself…. All by myself, I am driving. I have not driven by myself for probably two years now. I am. Driving. By. Myself. There is no one in the car with me. No one can hear me…. Say something, say it out loud. SAY IT! 

(She shouts out loud.)

I AM DRIVING BY MYSELF. (She takes a deep breath.) Woah, I am driving by myself! WOOHOO.

(She begins singing.)

I am driving by myseeeeelf. I am, driving by myseeeelf.

– I wonder what’s on the radio, let’s turn this thing up loud.

(She reaches and turns the dial.)

– Damn, they’re on break, it’s those crappy commercials. I wonder how quiet it will be with the radio off.

(She reaches and turns the dial. The radio shuts off.)

– Oh, it’s nice…. 

(Her eyebrows furrow.)

– My thoughts sound so loud. I wonder if those commercials are done now. I want to be one of those crazy women you see in funny movies, singing along to their radios. I’m gonna turn it up loud, and sing at the top of my lungs. Because I can, because no one can hear me. Hahahahaha.

(She reaches and turns the dial.)

Radio Lady: And now, we have Wham’s Last Christmas. Happy Holidays everyone.

Tina (Driving along Spadina, approaching Bloor): WHAM? YEAH, WOOH.

(She begins to tap on the steering wheel along with the song. She begins belching out the song at the top of her lungs.)

LAST CHRISTMAS, I GAVE YOU MY HEART. BUT THE VERY NEXT DAY, YOU GAVE IT AWAY. Oh yeah, you gave it awayyyyyy. (She begins laughing uncontrollably.)

Five minutes later, the song ends. Tina pulls into a Metro grocery store parking lot. She parks there and runs through the Metro, out onto the street to Yo-Yos yogurt. Another five minutes later, she is back in the car with yogurt in hand. She turns the engine on, and turns the radio back on. She continues driving along. Jim Cuddy’s New Year’s Eve comes on. Tina grows silent, listening intently to the lyrics of the song.

Jim Cuddy (Singing on the radio): People singing sorrow from the year that has gone. And I’m still fooling myself, I keep holding on.

Tina (to herself): Damn, that’s a good song. Great, now I feel depressed. I guess this is how it feels to be one of those depressed characters in movies who drive around aimlessly during the holidays. This feels like a movie. I feel like I’m in a movie. How awesome. HAHAHA. I’m driving by myseeeeelf. I should convince mom to let me take the car out more often. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe.

(She pulls into their driveway. She parks. She pulls out her phone and types the lyrics of the song into her notes section so she can download it later on. She turns off the engine. Turns off the headlights. She grabs her purse, steps out of the car, shuts it on her way out. She clicks on the car remote. It beeps.)

Tina (under her breath): I wish I had a Jeep damn it.

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