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Habits aren’t always good

April 23, 2012
January 1st, 2012 1:46pm
Just like Sister Bear, I am. God, I used to love the books and the T.V. show so much (and still do).

Anyway, I don’t know why I do it – I really don’t know why! It’s disgusting. When I see other people do it, all I can do is flash them a frown and turn my head away from disgust! This is the one thing that I hate about myself so much. But boy, oh boy, try as hard as I might, I just cannot help it!

I often go through phases. Sometimes, I wouldn’t do it for long periods of time. But then, something will happen, and I would lapse right back into the cycle again.

I’ve noticed that I do not often do it in public. Maybe it is because I am ashamed of it, or maybe it is because I do not feel the need to do it.  I used to do it when I was bored, like say, when I was in the car and we were going somewhere. But I don’t do it in the car anymore. I don’t know why not, but I just don’t. I’ve noticed now, that I do it most often, when I am at my computer, typing away at something…serious. I’ve noticed that I do it when I am seriously thinking about things. So yes, I suffer from this disorder most when I am writing and when I am in the midst of exam season.

I should get help, I know it. Honestly, I don’t think it’s ever been this bad before. Once though, I was really good at avoiding it. I think I had gone about four months without relapsing (or was it two months?). But I don’t know what happened! I let it get the better of me. But alas! ‘Tis no more! It is at the top of my New Year’s Solution list and I am going to kick this nasty sucker to the curb! Sure, it’ll be hard at the beginning, but all things get easier!

Oh man am I optimistic. I have been trying to kick this habit for many years now, what makes me think that this is going to be the year that I’ll actually do it? The internet links this nasty habit to OCD, a disorder which of some form I definitely have. It also sources this habit as a behavioural disorder.

Great, now it’s completely probable that I have problems from all three disciplines: sociological, psychological, and behavioural. I should just go see a psychiatrist already.

But hey, it’s 2012! It’s that time of the year to be optimistic about our goals! Right?

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