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Questions on Love

August 12, 2012

The Existential psychologist Rollo May once said that “to love completely carries with it the threat of annihilation of everything”. In other words, to love another, one must open the self to the possibilities of grief, sorrow, disappointment and loss. One “fully surrenders”, as in death.

Lately, I have been on an emotional roller coaster ride – one minute I’m extremely happy, the next, I’m in utter despair. But no worries, the despair only lasts about 5 seconds, then I’m off busying myself with something.

When I was young, I used to cheat by deliberating picking a flower that had an odd number of petals…. Then I would start off with “He likes me”.

But when those bouts of despair last for longer than 5 seconds, it’s almost like I’ve forgotten how to breathe. Breathe, breathe, breathe in, breath out. It’s the feeling that I’ve reached right into my chest, yanked out my heart, and held it out in front of me in my palms. I’m in utter disbelief. I’m confronted by the dichotomy of happiness and pain – the dichotomy of awe and disappointment.

Why do we love? Why do we bother with liking someone when we know it will have to end eventually (with the extreme form being death)? Why do we love when we have so much to lose!

These questions almost seems rhetorical.

Ugh, I hate it when I have a crush on someone. Talk to me a month ago and you would have found out that I was dying to have a crush on someone… because “it’s just so fun!”. Enter me a month later and I’m bent over groaning like someone punched me really hard in the stomach. But… c’est la vie! Which reminds me, I have a french exam on Thursday, which I should be studying for. Joy. I’m also starting to think that my blog is becoming way too exposing, especially in this department. After all, my crush knows that I have a personal blog where I record all of my inner secrets! (Not really.) In other words, if you’re reading this, you might be my crush, and in that case, give me a sign!

PS. Click here to watch Colin Firth talk about how he met his wife! Too cute for words, but just cute enough for squirming in your seat!

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