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Him, Decoded

March 9, 2013

Honestly, guys think they’re so slick.

In more than one occasion, I have been in a situation where a guy will say something — or rather, ask something — in such a way that he seems obviously pleased with himself for being so “slick.”

But let’s face it guys, we girls know what you really want.

Anyway, in the recent days, I have received a “cryptic” text message late at night. Of course, I could sense the undertone of the message as I read it with a raised eye-brow. Still, I needed to take to the internet to see what my gal-pals were thinking. Plus, I knew I was going to write about it later and well, a writer needs to do her research.

That was when I stumbled upon this website. It is actually HILARIOUS. I couldn’t stop laughing even as I forwarded it to CD. We both shared in some giggles as we quoted lines from it to each other.

Most memorable:

Hey: “If it is sent between the hours of 7am and 12pm, you have yourself a stage 5 clinger. Why is he texting you for no reason so early?”

What’s up?: “The situation gets worse when you answer him and respond with a follow-up ‘what’s up‘ question and he responds in middle-school-abbreves… types being NMU, NM, nothin, JC, etc. Like are you serious? If you’re actually dating this fool straight up tell him what an idiot he’s being. And if you’re not, run far away in the opposite direction.”

K: The worst. You tell him something and he responds ‘k.’ He can’t even make the extra effort of typing ‘okay’ or even ‘ok.’ This guy just doesn’t want to talk to you right now. He also knows if he doesn’t answer you, you will keep texting him until you receive a response, so instead of ignoring you he acknowledges your text in hopes that you won’t respond.

OK – so I’m in the library right now and I just stumbled upon this other site. It was so funny that I found it incredibly hard to suppress my laughters. I felt so bad for the people beside me that I just relocated to the cafeteria.

My favourite part:


You type: “Wanna go out tonight?”

We think: Sure.

You type: “Wanna go out tonight? ;) ”

We think: Go away—I’m not having sex with you.

No one winks or pokes in real life, so just stop. If you MUST use an emoticon, because you think we’re too stupid to know you’re joking*, then keep it to a smiley face. Winks cheapen—and creepen—your message.

I am actually having way to much fun writing this post. An hour ago, I was just about ready to burst out crying because I was feeling so restless, and my dad wasn’t able to pick me up (how childish of me…). But now, I’m having the time of my life reading all of these blogs/sites. This one here just made me burst out laughing; a guy eating his sandwich just looked at me with a facial expression that looked like this –> O.O

“I heard that when a guy asks what’s up it can mean he wants to casually see if your busy so he can ask you to hang out if your not. So now multiple times this guy I like (and I think likes me) has texted me first something like “Yo What’s up?” “or “Hey what’s up?” of once just “Hey!”. So then I typically write something back like “Nm Hbu?” or if something new actually is up I’ll tell him. So he’ll write back and comment. But as far as when I ask him what’s up all he ever says is something like “Just chillin’ nothing fancy” or something like that. Why does he just text me this but when I ask what’s up with he all he says is “just chillin?” and what is the meaning of saying “nothing fancy” ? Is there any chance he could be asking to see if I’m busy (without me really knowing) so he it isn’t awkward for him if I’m too busy to hang out? He is pretty shy around me these days.”

I just found another post that was very similar to the one above on the same website. The one above was filed under “Flirting questions”, this one I just found was filed under “Behavioural Questions.” HAHAHAHA. I’m dying of laughter.

There’s really no point in analyzing the texts that guys send us girls because like boys claim, they are “simple people” and really just mean what they say.

Maybe I’m wrong to read into his text. Maybe it’s really like what my friend AZ said, “It means that right before he sleeps, you’re on his mind!!!”

Yeah, right. I couldn’t have been on his mind earlier in the day? I was just so conveniently on his mind at 11 p.m.? Hm…. And this isn’t the first time.

But in any case, I thought this was super hilarious:


Because that’s how you make sentences!!!! Bahahahahahhahahahaha.

In the near future, I’ll tell you guys about the blind date I went on not too long ago. That was pretty interesting….

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