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The Language of College Bros

March 25, 2013

Setting: Classics Class. 10:01 a.m. Monday, March 25th, 2013.

Boy #1 sits down behind Tina like he always does every class. He chats up some girls beside him. Boy #2 arrives and sits down next to Boy #1. Tina cannot see what they are doing but she is sure they fist-bumped each other. Tina is reading the Toronto Star when she hears something that peaks her interest.

Boy #2: Yo man, wassup? How was your week-end?

Boy #1: It was good man. Went to the club.

Boy #2: Yah?

Boy #1: Yah, I met a girl.

Boy #2: OH YEAH?

Boy #1: Yeah, I was texting her for like a day.

Boy #2: What did she look like?

Boy #1: I was so wasted man, but she must have been decent. Actually, I remember that she was blond. I don’t normally go for blonds. I like brunettes — European girls.

Boy #2: Oh yeah. Actually a lot of European girls dye their hair blond when they’re actually Brunettes.

Boy #1: Oh yeah, I know.

They proceed to continue talking about European girls.

Boy #1: Yeah, I got her number, and I texted her for like a day. Then I found out she lives in Oakville, and I was like F–k that! Too far and too much work man. Not worth it.

Boy #2: So what did you do?

Boy #1: I stopped texting her.

Boy #2: Hahaha, yah man. Too much work.

Boy #1: Yah.

Tina cannot stop smiling to herself. She thinks this conversation is amusing, yet she is horridly offended at the same time. She decides that she will blog about this incident later tonight. She pulls out a piece of paper to write down some notes on the guys’ conversation, so she does not forget.

The professor enters the lecture hall. Class begins. The boys are quiet. Tina is scribbling with a red pen.

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I’d like to say that I was in “journalist” mode and not “creepy-stalker” mode. Hahaaha (I am not sinister-laughing!)

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