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It’s grade 12 again

September 19, 2013

I was perpetually in a state of anxiety from September 2009-May 6th, 2010. Why? Because I was applying to universities.

There was one day back in August of this year when AZ and I were talking about applying to universities. She talked about how nervous she was applying for universities back in grade 12, and how she (like every other twelfth grader, myself included) had applied to a variety of different universities–with no intention of ever attending them– “just in case.”

I know that feeling well. Back in grade 12, I had applied to six different Canadian universities “just in case.” I was positive that I would get into five of the six universities and knew that every acceptance letter was a boost to my ego. Also, I wanted to see how valuable ($$) I was to each university.

The only school I anxious about was McGill.

But three years later, as AZ and I sat in my favourite café, we laughed over how silly we were back in grade 12. Why did we worry so much? Looking back, it was easy to see that there was no doubt that we were going to get into the school of our choice. All of that worrying was for nothing! And all of those extra couple hundreds of dollars we had spent on applications were wasted on applying to schools we had no intention of ever attending.

But now, I feel like my seventeen-year-old, twelfth-grade self again. I am scrambling to find schools to apply to, even though I have no intention of attending them. They are my “just-in-case” schools.

And now, the school that I so desperately wanted to get away from back when I was seventeen is the very same school that I so desperately want to go to.

The school with its marvellous cherry blossoms and tulips in the springtime… the school with the intricate weavings of tree branches climbing the walls of breathtakingly beautiful buildings, adorning them in the “gleam of millions and millions of suns”… the school that lies in the heart of a city I call home–

to this place, I shall go…

Screen Shot 2013-09-18 at 10.28.07 AM

… only now, as a teacher in training!

Ah! Let the perpetual state of anxiety begin (again)!

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