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Guilty Pleasures

September 29, 2013

From 12-5 p.m., yesterday, I sat on my lofty iKea chair, on my balcony, and read the day away. It was truly wonderful.

Just imagine the chair outside....

Just imagine the chair outside….

It was a warm, Autumn day. The sun was out, so I had to wear my sunglasses and sunhat. I boiled some water on the stove, and brought the cup of Egyptian Camomile out with me.

Photo on 13-09-29 at 9.51 AM #2

Of course, I was reading a novel for my Canadian Prose class. It’s my third one, and I think it is my favourite so far (gasp! Even better than Rilla of Ingleside?!). Perhaps that has something to do with it being set in Toronto.

Cabbagetown: The Classic Novel of the Depression in Canada, Huge Garner

Cabbagetown: The Classic Novel of the Depression in Canada, Huge Garner (and yes, as you can see from the Dinetapp, I am sick)

Yesterday, I was enjoying my novel and the day (and basically, life) so much, that I felt guilty.

But isn’t that perverse?

I felt guilty for actually enjoying my school work! My mind kept wandering to the “Human Cognition and the Brain” readings I had stacked on my desk. I kept thinking that that was more important and that that deserved my immediate attention.

While I was reading my novel, I felt unproductive. I guess things have become so skewed for me that my definition of productivity is working through something so laboriously that it drains all of your energy.

That is perverse.

I guess I’ve just been so used to that–so used to school draining all of my energy that when I actually enjoy something, and it doesn’t feel like “work,” I feel unproductive.

Don’t get me wrong: I’ve always enjoyed school. Well, let me phrase it another way: I’ve always enjoyed learning. The examination part? Not so much. That’s the flaw with our education system: there is so much “worth” and “value” put onto tests/exams that learning becomes a means to an end instead of being an end in itself.

In this day and age, adults and children alike are stimulated by external motivation. It’s such a shame that most people go to school because they have to in order to get that job they want. It’s such a shame that people take “bird courses,” so they can earn that “easy” A.

Whatever happened to learning for the sake of learning? What ever happened to enjoying your courses and not feeling guilty when you actually do!

How did we let this happen?

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