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Prelude to Valentine’s

February 12, 2014

This has been an odd week.

First, I’ve been oddly productive. Perhaps that has something to do with last week and how I was bed ridden from Wednesday-Sunday because of an extreme attack of heartburn/acid-reflux/an ulcer and all I did during that time was watch Downton Abbey.

I watched half of the first episode last Tuesday night…. It’s now 8 days later, and I’m half way through season 4. Enough said.

I even dug out my fancy tea set and have been using for the last week.... Ignore the shot glass.... I don't have a milk jug nor do I have a sugar bowl!

I even dug out my fancy tea set and have been using it for the last week…. Ignore the shot glass…. I don’t have a milk jug nor do I have a sugar bowl yet!

Second of all, this week has been full of balance… which is quite odd since I haven’t found balance in my life since last semester. Honestly, with only three classes, and some volunteering and some tennis/dance classes… it doesn’t feel like I’m even doing anything. Of course, I have loads of work to do. I read a 400-page 18th century novel a week on top of writing papers, &c, &c. But spending an entire day reading a novel is different from spending a section of the day reading a section of a novel, another part of the day studying for psych, another doing math exercises, and another writing the introduction to an English paper. See what I mean?

Third of all, with the approach of Valentine’s Day, I’ve started to become aware of the fact that I am not in a relationship. Now, mind you, I phrased that sentence in a specific way. I did not say that “I’ve started to become aware of how lonely I am” or how “alone I feel” because I don’t feel either of those.

But I have started becoming aware of the fact that I am not in a relationship.

Why? Because when my plans for a “girls night out” on Valentine’s fell through (people said they were busy), I found myself thinking, “Who can I ask to hang out… who’s not single?” And the fact is, there were probably only 3 people who were single who I actually wouldn’t mind hanging out with. Three people! Three people who I wouldn’t mind hanging out with… not necessarily am excited to hang out with (sorry).

The thing is, I wouldn’t even mind staying in on Valentine’s Day–it’s just another day in the year, after all, and that’s what I do every Valentine’s Day anyway (that sounds depressing, but really, when you have a subscription to Netflix, it’s not). But the fact of the matter is, I’ve been craving waffles for such a long time, and Friday evening is the only time I’ll be free to go get them!

And it just so happens that this Friday is Valentine’s Day.

Sucks for me, right?

I even thought about going on my own because who cares right? I always go eat alone, and although my friends tell me that’s depressing, I don’t think so at all. But anyway, there is good news for single ol’ me after all: my gal pal NL can come out for waffles that night.

But seriously, though, let’s ponder over the concept of “Valentine’s Day” some more. Let’s face the fact that it just makes single people feel bad about themselves! Or actually, let me rephrase that because I don’t feel bad about myself and I’m single.

Valentine’s Day points out to me that I am not in love and that makes me feel like I’m missing out on something. So in this sense, it makes me feel bad that I’m not a part of something. (Hello alienation!)

What’s more, I don’t really understand the concept of Valentine’s Day. “It’s a day to celebrate the love that you have for each other,” someone might say. Well OK, but shouldn’t you 1) already know that you love each other, and 2) show that you love each other everyday?

And also, how many of the couples who celebrate Valentine’s Day every year actually know its history and origin? I can be honest: I’ve never celebrated Valentine’s Day with someone special, but I’ve celebrated Christmas and even Easter, and I know why I celebrated those holidays. (In your face!)

So that was my mini rant on Valentine’s Day. I’m sure I have more to say about it, but I’ll leave that to the day when I actually have a “Valentine.” Then I’ll be able to gage “both sides” of the argument.

Tomorrow, I’ll tell you all about my dance classes (swing and ballroom) and all of the cute boys in it (and how awkward it is when you’re dancing with a guy and you know he’s looking at you, but you don’t want to look back, so you look at your feet instead, but how once or twice, your eyes will flutter upwards to meet his, and you’ll just be looking at each other).

I think my awkwardness explains why I’m single.


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