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Lovers and Other Strangers

February 13, 2014

So originally, when I was planning this post in my head last night, I was going to talk about the awkward dance I had with that nice guy yesterday at my swing dance class.

But I’m tired from all the dancing and tennis I’ve been doing within the last two days, so I will keep this post short.

And also, I just kind of want to talk about the guy I met today in ballroom dancing. 🙂

But let’s backtrack a bit. Upon arrival at the studio this evening, I met a girl who, like me, also missed last week’s class (which was the first one) because she was sick. We got to chatting while we put on our slippers, and she pointed out that the rest of the people were all already in pairs.

When I looked up, I could plainly see that the rest of them were definitely couples who had signed up for the class together.

Just another blatant reminder that I’m single and that tomorrow is Valentine’s Day–gee, thanks. (Click here for the post about Valentine’s Day.)

Screenshot 2014-02-13 20.53.57

The class started, and the instructors began instructing away. That’s when I saw him walk through the door, and I blushed a little to myself because I knew I wanted him to be my partner. He had such a sweet smile, and you know what a sucker I am for smiles!

It was like that time in second year, when I was at a party with my beloved former roommate MDN, and I saw the most handsome man (who also had a sweet smile) walk through the doors, and all I could do was push people out the way, so I could introduce myself to him.

And I wasn’t even drunk that night. (I also swear that that was the only time I ever did that–push people out of the way.)

But I was a little more subtle today. Actually, I was a lot more subtle. He came onto the dance floor, and one of the instructors told the new people to step to the side, so he could go over the basics with us. Three of us did as he asked, one of whom was the mystery man in question.

I started chatting with the girl beside me and introduced myself. Then I introduced myself to him–J. One of the instructors taught us the basics and then told the whole class to get into partners. Now came the awkward part: one guy and two girls. I couldn’t very well thrust myself upon him!

But lucky for me, he chose me anyway. 🙂

(But don’t despair for the girl just yet! Another guy came in just a minute later and became her partner.)

Of course, I was naturally a little nervous, but now that I think of it, I was nowhere as nervous as I was yesterday (when I was at swing dance) and nowhere as nervous as I usually am when I’m attracted to a guy. And besides, that “nervous” feeling literally only lasted two minutes.

And I’ve put my finger on the reason why: because he made me feel extremely relaxed and comfortable. I didn’t feel like I was dancing with a stranger–I felt like I was dancing with someone whom I’ve already met on several occasions. I wasn’t nervous at all through the next 1.5 hours. I wasn’t nervous about where my feet should have been going and most importantly, where my eyes should have been going. Not at all like yesterday! Today, everything was so natural.

Normally, I become extremely self-conscious when I’m in the presence of a guy to whom I’m attracted. Like yesterday, for example, when I was dancing with this one guy (whose name also starts with a J), I was constantly pushing my glasses up my nose (how nerdy of me) whenever he would let go of my hand–awkward!

And like my friend KL pointed out to me, pushing my glasses up my nose is my “nervous tick.” It’s something I do when I feel put on the spot… or when someone is watching me. It’s something I do because having my glasses in the right position makes me feel better and perhaps, even “prettier.”

I noticed that I only did that once today. And that was after the instructors had showed us what to do, and he looked at me from across the dance floor with his eyebrows furrowed in a funny way, asking me with his expression if I think we could do this.

… And I pushed my glasses up my nose, smiled, and as we approached each other, I raised my eyebrows, shook my head, and told him that I really didn’t think I had it.

But after a few screw-ups, we did have it after all.

I noticed that I laughed a lot today. I mean, I laughed quite a bit yesterday, too, because let’s face it, who doesn’t have fun swing dancing?

But today, I laughed a lot. Mostly because he often didn’t get the steps down right away. Mostly because we were fumbling along together. Mostly because we would count 1-2-3 out loud together and still screw up. Mostly because he wouldn’t turn me the right way, and I’d end up crashing into other people.

AZ makes a good point.

AZ makes a good point.

The thing I loved most was the way we would laugh with each other, always. Yesterday, when I was dancing with the other guys, it was mostly me doing the laughing… and it might have been more of a nervous laugh/chuckle than a let’s-do-that-again kind of laugh.

J had to leave before the class ended, and I was a little disappointed. As I was practising the promenade with the instructor, J went to the back to gather his belongings. From there, he waved at me and smiled, and I returned his gestures. The remainder of the class was fun, but not “great fun.” Although one of the instructors would dance with me from time-to-time, I was often swaying to the music alone. Once, a guy came up to me and asked me if I wanted to dance. His partner was right behind him, and he asked her if she minded. She said, “Of course not! I see him all the time!” and I smiled. While I danced with him, she gave me some pointers.

On a second occasion, the girl who I had met when I first arrived (whose name… now that I think of it, also starts with a J…) asked me what happened to my partner. I told her and her partner that he had to leave early. “Oh, would you like a turn?” she asked as she offered up her partner. “Oh no, I couldn’t intrude,” I said, but the guy smiled and told me that it wasn’t a problem at all. I thought that was nice of them. As we danced, the guy asked me what kind of music I liked to listen to, which I also thought was nice. People usually start off with the usual, “So what are you studying?”

I really did enjoy my dances with these two guys, and we had nice conversations while dancing, too. But the thing that I just noticed is that J and I did not tell each other anything about ourselves (other than our names), and although this was the case, I felt most comfortable with him and had the most fun with him. There was an air of easiness that I felt. I didn’t think about my actions at all (what I should do, whether humming along to the music was weird, etc., etc.) because I was too consumed in the fun we were having together.

And when I reflected upon it all as I was walking home after class, I somehow felt like I had met J before… somewhere. I still feel it now. I’m constantly wracking my brain because I truly feel like I’ve seen him around… or recognize him from somewhere! My hippocampus doesn’t seem to be working right now, and I just can’t seem to remember how I know him or where I recognize him from.

But there is also the small voice in my head that tells me that I’m actually making all this up, and that I’ve actually never seen him before, and that this is just my brain reacting in a weird way, making me believe that I’ve met him before because I feel so comfortable with him, when I actually have never seen him before in my life.

But I can honestly swear that I do have this feeling that I recognize him from somewhere, and I’m not just saying that because I “feel like I know him already” because, although I do feel really comfortable with him, I still don’t know him at all.

Well, that was the gist of it–so much for a short post. We’ll see how next week goes. I can’t wait for it.

AZ is just too funny.

AZ is just too funny.

Happy Valentine’s to all the sweet lovers in the world, for although I did say yesterday that the holiday is quite evil, I do think it is quite beautiful all the same. But it’s only beautiful if you go beyond the gifts and really share the love.

The title of this post comes from the popular radio show I used to listen to growing up called, “Lovers and Other Strangers.” You can now listen to them here.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. February 14, 2014 8:24 pm

    Will you be my valentine Tina? 😉

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