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Busy-Busy Business

September 15, 2014

I’m tired. Exhausted. My eyes are barely even open as I type this under the umbrella shade of my lamp. But I am happy. I am content. And I am strangely, not stressed all that much. I have a lot of work to do and that is why, of course, I’m so tired. I wrote out all the deadlines for my assignments this school year. 48. That’s right. Four-eight for research seminar, literacy, professional ethics, fundamentals of teaching, English, social studies, math, and science.  How is that even possible, you ask? I don’t even know.

But it’s work that I want to do and that is why, of course, I am not stressed all that much.

Grad school is a lot more work than I thought. My program demands the very best of me, and so, unlike my undergraduate days, when it wouldn’t have been hard for me to sit at the back of the class and day-dream (or do some shopping on Amazon), I find myself having to be on the alert for the full 9-4 days I spend in this one building that I used to find myself walking by everyday and not caring all that much about. Having to be “on” all the time is just not something I’m used to. In undergrad, I went to class, sometimes to extracurricular stuff like dance and tennis, occasionally talked to some friends, and then went home. Oh, and don’t forget the nightly Netflix ritual. During the summer, I spent more time with myself than doing anything else.

–Yes, I consider spending time with myself an activity on its own.

But I think I’m slowly getting used to this now–the whole meeting and interacting with people thing. I know, I know: I sound anti-social. Really, I’m not; I do love meeting and talking to people. It just drains all of my energy… having to interact with others all day. Of course, all of this busy-busy business has reminded me of the wonderfulness of alone time.

But I’m not complaining about my schedule. It’s a good kind of busy. I’ve finally hit the jackpot–I am so happy with my program, my new friends, my new teachers that in every conversation I have with people, I almost always hope that they will ask me, “How’s school?” so I can go on and on and on about how much I like it. The other day, I thought to myself, “All of that suffering during undergrad was so worth it because it got me here.”School has always been a very important part of my life. Education has always been a very important part of my life. I like to learn, and I like to teach, and the program that I am in enables me to do both. When November hits… I’ll be in an elementary school classroom, standing in front of 25-or-so kids, wondering to myself how my own elementary-school teacher did it. Boy, I’m excited!

But teaching isn’t the only part that I am excited about. I’m also excited about my thesis, which I was diligently working on this weekend. My first class of grad school was my research seminar. Sometime during the class, P, my professor, said, “You’re here to create new knowledge.” New knowledge, I had repeated in my mind. New knowledge. I smiled. And on my second day, I met E, my professor for my ethics class, and let me tell you, she is one of the most delightful people I’ve ever met in my life. When she stood in the middle of the room and told us about how she arrived at where she is today, I thought to myself, “Wow, she is brilliant. I want to be her.” My, it is wonderful to be surrounded by people whom you admire.

As I write this, I am slumping in my computer chair, and my lower back really hurts. Bits of mascara have made their way into my eyes because I keep rubbing them. 96.3 FM is on softly in the background while cars whoosh by in the rain outside my window. I can’t do my assignment for social studies because I bought the wrong textbook, so blogging is the only thing keeping me from taking a nap and ruining my beauty sleep tonight. I don’t have class tomorrow morning, but I’m going to go to the ROM to do another assignment for social studies. ES said he would join me, so we’re planning to meet up early and do our sketches together. Then I have to attend a meeting at lunch because… guess what? I’m “class rep!” Maybe next year, I’ll run for President of the grad student council… just like high school all over again.

I also want to apply for a job with my department. Oh my magic stars, good thing I have an agenda to keep everything in order.

But with all this “busy-busy business,” I want to make sure that some things do not slip through the cracks. It’s easy to get wrapped up in your own thing–to get wrapped up in one part of your life and forget another. I don’t want that to happen again. I remember in second year of undergrad, my professor for the course on Aristotle asked us to take out a piece of paper and answer 2 questions. The first was “List three things without which would make you very unhappy.” The second was “List three things you did yesterday.” (You can read the original blog post here.) The point my professor was trying to make is that for many of us–if not all–we do not do things that are important to us and make us happy in our day-to-day lives. Instead, we let ourselves become overwhelmed by the mundane things that we have to do. So let it be known that despite all this hoo-ha of busy-busy business, I WILL not forget three things I treasure most in life:

1) Friends and family. I shall try my best to always make time.

2) Writing. My passion, my hobby–the one activity that brings me the most joy. And although it might seem that I don’t blog very often anymore… I still keep up with my journelling.

3) Me-time. Time to reset my battery and recharge!

Golly gee, I hope I’ll be able to keep up!

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