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How Do You Know?

February 14, 2015

For the Romantics.

Part I

The thing about me is that I fall in “love” too easily. What is love anyway?

I am currently reading Anaïs Nin’s diary from the year 1931–1932 about her various affairs but most specifically about her affair with Henry Miller. There are so many beautiful passages about love—in those moments of reading those beautiful passages, I think I understand what love is.

You know, it is almost like reading about a sunset. You can imagine how beautiful it is, and you think you know how beautiful it is, but it’s not until you see a sunset yourself—not until you experience its entirety—that you truly know how wonderful—how breathtaking—how consuming it is. I imagine it’s that way with love, too.

diary,  December 27, 2014

Part II

The two of us are sitting in an almost-empty theatre. It’s late in the evening. We’re waiting for the the movie to start. We’re discussing movies. Somehow, we get around to Titanic.

“It’s my favourite movie of all time,” I say.

I pull out of my Heart of the Ocean necklace and show him. “I’ve been wearing this for almost 17 years.”

He tells me that there is one thing about that movie that bothers him.

I gasp and ask, “What?”

He says that he is pretty sure that at one point in the movie, elder Rose tells her audience that she loves Jack more than anything or anyone she has ever loved. He wonders how Rose could ever be so in love with someone she only knew for a few days. It bothers him that Rose loves Jack more than she loves the children and even the man she ends up being married to for decades.

I tell him that I didn’t think she says that she loves Jack more than her children and the man she ends up being married to. Jack is her one true love, but that doesn’t negate and diminish the love that she has for her children and the man that she ends up marrying.

He asks me how anyone could ever love someone he/she has only known for a couple of days. He asks me how anyone could ever know that he/she is in love with someone if he/she has only known for that person for a couple of days.

“Well, don’t you think you would just know?” I say.

He looks at me.

“Don’t you think you would just know? It’s true love! You would just know.”

There is a second of silence.

He is looking at me.

“Well, do you know?”

I’m surprised. I didn’t mean to ask him to answer that question. I meant it as a hypothetical—as a rhetorical question. And I certainly didn’t mean for him to ask me.

“I don’t know,” I say.

I look away.

Our fingers, still interlaced.

Oh good, the previews are about to start.

real life, February 11, 2015

One Comment leave one →
  1. February 14, 2015 9:07 pm

    Reblogged this on jmorrisseyrosiphillips's Blog and commented:
    I don’t love easily yet he found a way in only to leave my heart open. I shut it before I heard his last footstep…Love when it binds the right hearts amazes me. I hold not love today, yet hope for tomorrow.

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